Monday, July 21, 2014

Back at it again!

If you are like me, you struggle with sticking to a healthy lifestyle due to...you name it, I blamed it. I have blamed the kids, my husband, stress, school and my tight schedule to get everyone in order, but myself. 

I am now at a crossroad between being happy with who I am or who I can be. I wouldn't be telling the truth if I said "oh yeah! I am as happy as a lark." That would be a lie when it comes to my weight issues. My husband tells me he loves me the way I am, but there is an uncomfortable feeling that occupies my headspace and causes yo-yo diets and trying a plethora of healthy lifestyle changes. 

Media, internet resources and published articles titled what I call the new diet as "healthy lifestyle change," but the minute I cease following the protocol of the  "healthy lifestyle change," it immediately is thrown into something I've tried and ultimately stopped following; fad diets.

So where does that put me? Back at one. Why? Because I allow outside distractions to pull me away from what's most important to me and that is Me. Being back at one is better than ignoring the reality of my obesity. It's not cute, nor cuddly. I believe there is a point in each overweight individual life where enough is enough. The point where you think about your weight night and day, so much that you continue to gain weight because you are depressed at what you have done to yourself. 

My breathing is hard sometimes, especially after climbing my flight of stairs in my home. It is an everyday reminder that I am not in a good place with my health. A dear friend once told me "when you get tired of sitting on that nail, you'll get up and do something about it." Well it's that time. The nail has stuck me in the a** and it hurts to my core. Procrastination sucks. That's one attribute I can toss to the dogs. 

So, what am I doing? I'm choosing more wisely, making moves that I didn't make yesterday. I am on my way to a transformation of self. Not just physically, but spiritually, mentally and financially. This is my truth; what is yours?